Should I Keep the House? Questions to Ask Before You Decide in Divorce
Divorce brings a flood of emotions, questions, and life changes. Among them, one of the most difficult and emotionally charged decisions is what to do with the family home. As both a Real Estate Broker and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), I’ve helped countless clients stand at this exact crossroads, torn between the comfort of familiarity and the wisdom of financial clarity.
Just last week, I sat with a client who was grappling with this very question. Her home held memories, birthdays, holidays, and overall emotional attachment, but it also came with a mortgage that didn’t reflect her new reality. We walked through the numbers, and also through the feelings, as she tried to determine if staying would bring peace or prolong her pain. Like so many clients I work with, she needed space to be both practical and human.
If you're asking yourself, Should I keep the house? here are five essential questions I use to guide my clients toward clarity.
1. Can I really afford it now and later?
This question goes beyond the monthly mortgage payment. You need to consider:
Property taxes, insurance, and utilities
Maintenance and repair costs
Whether your post-divorce income can sustain the home
If refinancing is required and whether you're eligible
As a CDFA®, I run long-term financial projections to help you understand not just whether you can afford the house today, but whether you’ll be able to in the years to come.
2. Am I staying out of attachment or out of alignment?
It's natural to crave stability during a divorce, especially when children are involved or when the home feels like your last tie to a "normal" life. It is also important to reflect on whether staying supports your healing.
Ask yourself: Am I holding on because this house feels like home, or because I’m afraid of letting go?
Staying in a home that stretches you financially or emotionally may end up creating more stress. Sometimes, letting go is what allows you to fully move forward.
3. How will this impact my divorce settlement?
Keeping the house often means trading away other assets, such as retirement accounts, cash, or spousal support. In some cases, it may also mean taking on more debt to buy out your spouse's equity.
Understanding your full financial picture, including equity, tax implications, and future value, is critical. Real estate and divorce are deeply intertwined, and a misstep here can set you back years.
4. If I sell, where will I go and how will that feel?
This isn’t just a financial decision. It's an emotional one, too. Many clients I work with experience both grief and relief when they envision selling the family home.
Would a smaller space bring peace or feel like a loss?
Could moving be an opportunity to start fresh?
What kind of home would better reflect who you are becoming?
I support my clients in finding homes that match their new lives, not just their pasts.
5. What does my heart say, when I get quiet?
Beyond the spreadsheets, legal conversations, and market comps, there is your own inner knowing. I encourage every client I work with to take quiet time to listen, not to what others think she should do, but to what feels truly aligned.
When you get still and listen, does the idea of staying bring peace? Or does it bring pressure? Does the idea of selling feel like failure or freedom?
Final Thoughts
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether to keep the house during divorce, however, you do not have to navigate it alone.
Your home is more than just a place to live. It's where you begin again.
If you're facing this decision and need guidance, we are here to help. Origin Coaching & Consulting bridges real estate and divorce financial strategy to help you make clear, empowered choices during one of the most pivotal transitions of your life.